No.

Obama Will Lose

Obama’s association with Bill Ayers is not the only story in this election, lieberals. In fact Obama has also been seen laughing at sadistic terrorist bombings, cackling as delusional maniacs use explosive devices on innocents for seemingly no purpose.

In advance of API’s full presser on this matter, I have obtained a picture of the crazed bomber in question, added below. Obama is finished.

Robot Banker Requires Software Update

This is remarkable.

Checkers Not Exciting Enough

Boy, 8, shot to death in Mass. gun show accident

WESTFIELD, Mass. (AP) — An 8-year-old boy died after accidentally shooting himself in the head while firing an Uzi submachine gun under adult supervision at a gun fair.

The boy lost control of the weapon while firing it Sunday at the Machine Gun Shoot and Firearms Expo at the Westfield Sportsman's Club, Police Lt. Lawrence Valliere said.

Deaths like this are about as infuriating as when religious nuts won't take their kids to a doctor. Reasonless.

Why Republicans are Losing

Via Thers:



Dear crazy nuts: keep being crazy and nutty.

Stupid Names Via JanusNode

Here's what I did:

100 Subject(SillyNames) honorifics 10 < CapitalizeNext() 100 > { TextDemonCapitalizeFakeWord 100 | words 100 | honorifics 10 | FirstNames 100 } < CapitalizeNext() 100 > { TextDemonCapitalizeFakeWord 100 | FirstNames 100 | words 100 } return 100

100 Subject(SillyNames) < CapitalizeNext() 100 > { TextDemonCapitalizeFakeWord 100 | words 100 | honorifics 10 | FirstNames 100 } < CapitalizeNext() 100 > { TextDemonCapitalizeFakeWord 100 | FirstNames 100 | words 100 } return 100

100 Subject(SillyNames) < CapitalizeNext() 100 > { TextDemonCapitalizeFakeWord 100 | FirstNames 100 < backspace() 100 > "-" 100 < backspace() 100 > < CapitalizeNext() 100 > FirstNames 100 | words 100 | syllables 100 < backspace() 100 > words 100 | words 100 < backspace() 100 > syllables 100 | honorifics 10 | FirstNames 100 | FirstNames 100 < backspace() 100 > syllables 100 | syllables 100 < backspace() 100 > FirstNames 100 } < CapitalizeNext() 100 > { TextDemonCapitalizeFakeWord 100 | FirstNames 100 | words 100 | words 100 < backspace() 100 > "-" 100 < backspace() 100 > < CapitalizeNext() 100 > words 100 } return 100

I had to make a text file for honorifics, one of first names and another for random words (found a dictionary file on the web and used that). Turns out there's a TextDemon in JanusNode that makes fake words constructed from random syllables...I altered that to make it spit out longer fake words.

I separated the varieties of silly names into three lines; I don't know what the deal is but JanusNode doesn't seem to want to honour the frequency of the honorifics I specified so I just added lines without them.

The last line's the most complicated, with nonsense syllables getting added to real names or words and hyphenation. I think what I like most is that the ridiculous exists right next to "Dorine Simonson". "First Lieutenant Telephoning Madhouse" cracks me up.

Output:

First Lieutenant Private Caysurroym
Cloodelbert Brew-Rainstorm
Prince Status Beseeches
Rear Admiral Violette
Gia-Anjanette Sadie-Troubling
Dorine Simonson
Charlette
Gentlemen Overlays
Ethelcee Fishnolvohclel
Great-Aunt Deduct Lapnooke
Thibikl Mi
First Lieutenant Telephoning Madhouse
Captain Jotxagpeeb Krysta
Shalasheeke Hoisted-Systems
Civet Numbered
Commander Brenton Restart
Cluverline Wilder
Saint Relevances
danille Gregorio
Formulates Philosophers
Private Wade Merna

Good gravy:

Unanticipated Cuc

This last one had both me and the six-year-old giggling for ten minutes. Truly, I did not anticipate Cuc.

Still More

Aunt Boundless Corporate
Mayor Ira Fragmentary
Guru Impenetrably Chong
Airman First Class Unchangeable Xayyconesof
Dr. Meplu Sovlithcrith
Father Janina Wage
General Warner Presidency
Minister Bronchial Charita
Pastor Hefty Jarrett
Warrant Officer Naplipiberug Rose
Seaman Golfing
Colonel Dot Peaches
Private First Class Alarms Charlena
Elenor Ian
Kanesha Yikout
Princess Minister Schwartz
Secondarily Nofethojklodsaz
Pope Jessica
Staff Sergeant Grandma Barbecue
Mr. Deirdre Strategic
Gloria Elias
Dominica Autumn
General of the Army Sik Fielder
Cardinal Ching
Major Kickoff Shoodpofejoulex
Staff Sergeant Frederick Camel
Doubloon Rejoiced
Great Grandpa Romper Bolstering
Brigadier General Greed Page
Wub Maniac
Seaman Normanization Cijogfoprpe
Minister Eliminated Mabel
Vice President Antoinette Herb
Captain Exquisite Yoym

More Stupid Names

Needs more out-of-place actual words, but getting there.

Duke Vepsikvuplvav Lissa
Lord Doctor Dane
Countess Com Culeda
Queen Klalquouplakaje
Yoshiko Shanika
Ms. Coojusegou
May Su
Fouproxik Putkluf
Lord Mister Tuhvoofejvooqu
Queen John
Mister Shara Ilana
Mahalia Phylicia
Mr. Princess Chante
Mr. Gum Claretta
Virgen Sicrith
Countess Ted Quaprfec
Duke Lady Miklmouquoufeklucl
Mrs. Angeline
King Countess Eun
Lap Miki
Dr. Poolpenlef
Ms. Tuhclu
Goyweklalhoonowee Nicholas
King Porsche Jamison
Mister Bonnie Gizobeenoquoc
Duke Rizoplusach
Countess Ginny Sharan
Noysimene Maximina
Princess Ethelene Silvana
Countess Zevaych Rayfshit
Doctor Delilah Kononofewer
Mister Duke Matilda
King Gilda Shanae
Queen Koowprem
Count Yooshoolmopotej Rosanne

I Wish for Debilitating Ass Cancer for Mr. Lodge

Trolls, Wonderful Trolls

1. Dr BLT, Recovering Troll said,

   March 19, 2008 at 0:43

   I honestly never thought Sadly No would ever write something that echoes my own sentiments, but it’s a funny world.

   The Maverick
   Dr BLT
   words and music by Dr BLT copyright 2008
   http://www.drblt.net/music/MaverickDemo2.mp3

2. Righteous Bubba said,

   March 19, 2008 at 0:50

   Around the last sixth of this piece it sounds like you’re cleaning some cellophane.

3. Dr BLT, Recovering Troll said,

   March 19, 2008 at 1:33

   I was probably blowing my nose. I had a bad cold the day I recorded this.

Just Give Up and Eat Your Soup

Stupid Name Generator

I occasionally think I should change my name because the one I have is stupid. So I'm slowly working on a JanusNode module to do it. Thus far it has yielded

Mr. Moopr
Mr. Klecrou
Dr. Gutsuz
Dr. Fayzeeyoosbod
Mr. Heeb
Ms. Waygay
Dr. Samzebeeno
Dr. Yipashib
Mr. Wowgumcra
Dr. Jegdoh
Ms. Nub
Mr. Chan
Dr. Wool
Dr. Git
Ms. Divyime
Ms. Doh
Mrs. Ticpofeshifho
Ms. Soozkip
Mr. Fey
Dr. Clone
Mr. Seep
Ms. Fouproshefonofepig
Mr. Beenokono
Dr. Bi
Mrs. Ploy
Mr. Jic

A Blind Man's PUMA is Enraged Because It's Blind

Via LGM there's this craziness.

Note that Photoshop is invoked in comment #3. At this point another 518 comments follow.

Theme Shopping

Four cans of Coke
Two boxes of Cap'n Crunch
One tube toothpaste
One bottle mouthwash

A True Story

Barack Hussein Obama was once driving his car around the shopping mall looking for a parking space. Suddenly he spotted a large SUV pulling out, and he angled towards the spot. As the SUV pulled out though, he saw that behind it was another vehicle, signal on, ready to take the spot. "Ya Allah!" cried Obama as his Eid-ul-Fitr shopping was thwarted. Remarkably, however, the driver of the other vehicle turned off his signal and waved Obama in.

That driver was Bill Ayers.

Listen

Worries for the Future

Are you supposed to discover, upon making your six-year-old's bed, that she is concealing your Kafka stories there?

Lazy Blogging

Anton Von Leevenhoek's Evil Mustang Sprinkles

Ingredients:
1 mustang
3 pounds carnal farmer cheese, autonomously barbecued
7 jiggers rambling sweetened condensed milk, latently scrambled
4 pinches water buck liver
5 bags sugar
1 tablespoon flour

Adoringly grease a cookie sheet. Place the mustang into a small bowl. Use a food processor to mash the sweetened condensed milk with the farmer cheese. Stuff the resulting mixture into the mustang. Crucify the water buck liver, sugar, and the flour inwardly. Stomp everything together. Grill for 60 minutes. Serves 7 direct friends with crackpot stomachs.

I Do Enjoy This

X-Force #125 from 2002. The costumed superhero being cynical here dies shortly, another nice feature.

Panic in the Electoral College!

At Real Clear Politics the Flash map is broken and you can add as many votes as you like.