I have been researching the great sport of sumo.
Young boys want to become sumo in order to achieve the rank and physique of manatee.
Therefore they dance in poo.
Those who can crush the poo to the satisfaction of the Sanrio Corporation are allowed to live on the moon.
Others must find new careers.
Successful members of the Order of the Manatee must rub their bellies on decadent foreigners.
There are delights, however, as visiting dignitaries often bring snacks to the more successful of the ravening maxisapiens.
The most physically beautiful sumo are bronzed and used to direct traffic.
Others become snacks themselves, an irony which something something something.
They may also engage in physical contests of some sort. These seem unimportant.