EAT SHIT AND LIVE. SOON TO BE REPUBLISHED AT BIG HOLLYWOOD!

I could be witty and do a shorter and all, but no, verbatim Douglas MacKinnon:

Different people like different films for different reasons. All should be respected. To the utter amazement and disdain of these reviewers, Paul Blart: Mall Cop has become a certified hit. Get over it. More than that, climb down from the Ivory tower from time to time and actually speak to those in line to see the movies of Adam Sandler, Kevin James, and Rob Schneider. If you do, you will find that you are speaking to a representation of the vast majority of the people in our nation.

The article is entitled "Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Please Arrest the Elitist Reviewers".

TPM More Traitory After Obama Win

They could have left the puppies bit out. Why so bitter lieberals? The world is yours!

Townhall Deserves Praise

Honestly.

During the campaign, President Obama said he would stop federal raids of medical marijuana clubs in states (like California) that had passed medical marijuana laws. Yet federal agents raided medical marijuana dispensaries, including the Patient to Patient Collective in South Lake Tahoe, two days after his inauguration. The Tahoe Daily Tribune reported that agents seized between 5 and 10 pounds of marijuana.

The Marijuana Policy Project, which wants to legalize marijuana, accused the Drug Enforcement Administration of "defying" Obama's position on medical marijuana and "called on the president to immediately replace Bush administration holdovers at DEA.

"During the presidential campaign," the press release continued, "Obama repeatedly promised not to waste federal resources interfering in states with laws protecting medical-marijuana patients from arrest, and he told Southern Oregon's Mail Tribune editorial board on March 28, 2008, 'I'm not going to be using Justice Department resources to try to circumvent state laws on this issue.'"

So will Obama keep his word by directing federal drug agents to concentrate on going after drug kingpins instead of sick people?

The crazy thing is I would not put it past Obama to do the right thing. How weird does it feel to give a president credit?

The Best "Fuck You" Ever Recorded

Right at the start of Hamburger Martyr by Killdozer.



And you call this cup of shit coffee? Well I'd rather drink from the dick of a goat.

Let Me Put Aside My Bias, Insanity, and Extremism for a Minute

Bernard Goldberg sez:

The second part of the question is, “Who am I trying to persuade?” I’m going to be perfectly honest with you. I reach out to liberals in my books. They criticize not liberals but they criticize liberal biases or liberal insanity or liberals going too far, or whatever. I would love for liberals to also read this book, in addition to conservatives, and say, “Hey, he’s making a good point.”

(Joke stolen from Dreamweasel, subject of various songs.)

Disquieting

Mesmerizing

I'm trying to figure out what the worst part in this. (Easy answer: the part when the music starts.) Manowar was once absolutely hilarious but this is so devoid of worth that it's acquired hypnotic power in its pursuit of cliché. It makes me think of David Lynch. Or Bob Hope. Or Neil Hamburger. Something like that.

CRUCIAL UPDATE:

Forgive me for not noticing earlier but Manowar's fans are Immortals, and thus cannot die for metal even if they really really pretty-please-with-sugar-on-top want to. Sorry.

Michael Crook Update!!!

A terrifying update here. That such horror could manifest itself in our day and age...

Amusing Myself

Susan of Texas gets all the good troll action.

Greetings From Crazy Nutty Cuckooland

David Horowitz on Obama's election:

Second, in order to do this as conservatives -- as conservatives who have been through the culture wars -- we need to get past the mixed feelings we will inevitably have as the nation marks its progress in moving away from the racial divisions and divisiveness of the past. These feelings come not from resistance to the change, but from the knowledge that this celebration should have taken place decades ago and that its delay was not least because our opponents saw political advantage in playing the race card against us and making us its slandered targets.

Cancer Pooh

That I have wanted to take a picture of this mall vending-machine item for about a year and a half and haven't despite having a camera with me nearly all the time says something. Though not as much as Cancer Pooh.

This Deserves Publicity

Michael Crook is going on a hunger strike:

I am willing to die over this, because a country with a colored president simply isn’t worth living in.

Hold him to it.

The Good Life

Imagine that for 18 months you're at work. Your advice is so helpful that for every four million dollars down the drain or propped up by somebody else cleaning up your mismanagement you make about $225.

Over that span you make about $22 million dollars.

You are Robert Rubin and you live the good life.

(I take responsibility for misleading guesstimathifications.)

Hip Hip Hussein

That is all.

The Mighty Amber Pawlik Cooks Again

Via JanusNode and a template here:

Zookeeper Lorretta Elena's Kind Flagtail Ball

All you do is get flagtail and put soy sauce and basil on top of it before balling it. That - putting those seasonings on top - is the secret. Bake the meat, then put it on top of some mole bowel. Put cannibalistic cream (at all grocery stores, make sure to get this cannibalistic cream too) over top of it. Put it in the microwave for 210 seconds. You can add to it whatever you want. Some people put a layer of fluffy mimolette cheese on it and just eat it like that. I chop up liver, plastic curd cheeses and vegetable and put them on top, as well as salamander colon. WARNING: You will never be able to order flagtail at a restaurant or bar ever again, as they simply won't measure up to the ones you can make at home.

After William Topaz McGonagall

It must have been an awful sight,
To witness in the dusky kitchen light,
While the Plumber did laugh, and angry did bray,
Knees down on the linoleum that day,
Oh! ill-fated sight on the linoleum that day,
I must now conclude my lay
By telling the world fearlessly without the least dismay,
That some nice suspenders would not have given way,
At least many sensible men do say,
Had they been supported to hide his buttresses,
At least many sensible men confesses,
For the higher our pants, God knows,
The less chance our ass to expose.

Drawn from here and here after the pie graph below was mocked here and a Vogon poetry threat was unleashed here. It's funny how the human brain works and it's also funny how my brain works. Who knew that there could be a more cringe-worthy use of "buttresses" outside McGonagall?

Cleanliness

Nasty unscientific polling nevertheless produces nice clean graphics:

Мисс ЗГМУ 2007!!!

Thanks to Google Translate for the half-assed job. But you know, some universities do things differently.

I am advised by the kind and wonderful M. Bouffant that clicking on the links below may be a security risk. There isn't anything of special value there so don't click if you're worried. Who knew that medical university websites could be unhealthy?

Miss University

Annual beauty contest

Давным ago in the city of Corinth, at the festival, posvyaschennom bohyne beauty and plodorodyya Demeter, hundreds of girls krasyveyshyh ancient Greece predstaly before jury, sostoyavshym of почтенных horozhan. Sculptors, певцы, ораторы, философы and воины otsenyvaly young beauty nymf dostoyneyshey and awarded the title «Nosytelnytsa gold». So held the first beauty contest in the world.

Today, we invite you to try their forces in a beauty contest «Miss ZHMU-2007».

«Miss ZHMU-2007» - this is your chance to become famous, to get acquainted with interesting people!
If you are young, beautiful and sure of themselves - derzayte!

Do not miss the chance to change your life!

Note also that "If you have no photos, you can negotiate with our photographer - Sergei Efymenko" who is a reasonable man I am sure.

Integration

john c. halasz 01.15.09 at 1:15 am

[...] At any rate, whatever sort of reactionary political frenzy Israel is in now, ( a sign of the decay of its position, to my mind, however “successfully” they manage to impose their regional domination), the obvious effect of such a ban on Arab-based parties is good old-fashioned gerrymandering/voter suppression, as Arab voters are little likely to vote for any of the remaining parties, as expressing their interests and perspectives, (assuming Hadash already is at the limit of its appeal/vote share), but rather will abstain from and boycott the vote. Just as with increasingly misconceived resorts to violent force, suppression of any expression of opposing perspectives is a sign of waning legitimacy and a corresponding exhaustion of any ability for flexible responses. Perhaps Israel is at long last becoming integrated into the Middle East!

War on Gaza Videos

Go here and watch videos. There's a lot of footage of daily life as it currently is in Gaza. Free of narration from what I've seen so far, though there are interviews (again I haven't seen 'em all but everything I saw was in Arabic).

Quality Control

Funtime in Texas:

A&M to base bonuses on student input
The Associated Press

COLLEGE STATION — The chancellor of the Texas A&M University System wants to give bonuses worth up to $10,000 to some instructors, but so far, many aren't interested.

"I've never had so much trouble giving away a million dollars," Chancellor Mike McKinney said, laughing.

The voluntary pilot program being done at Texas A&M University along with the campuses in Prairie View and Kingsville will award bonuses from $2,500 to $10,000 to instructors based on end-of-the-semester critiques by students. The first awards go out in February, the Bryan-College Station Eagle reported in its online editions on Sunday.

[...]

I suggest someone try the Chicken Suit Stratagem: every student is going to remember the teacher who was fun enough to wear a chicken suit to teach, and consequently Professor Chicken Suit will be rewarded.

Among other alternatives, why not remove the middle-man and have a tip jar right up there in the front of the class?

Update

I may have posted about this before, but it's along the same line:

2 Fake Law Diplomas and a $37M Haul
31 October 2008By Svetlana Osadchuk / Staff Writer

A Samara professor earned an eye-popping $37 million teaching law at seven schools over the course of three years.

The problem is that he landed the teaching jobs with fake diplomas that he bought for about $2,000 after seeing an advertisement near a Moscow metro, investigators said.

Okay, he's made $37 million as a law professor, but THE PROBLEM is that he's a fake.

Update Also

Lifting a bright comment from elsewhere:

If there are any "liberal" profs in Aggieland, they better not anger the College Republicans, or it will cost them ten grand!

Posted by: Bob Oso | January 13, 2009 4:05 PM

Dakhla

Final Egypt post I promise.

Here's a whole bunch of sand. That's probably Dakhla off in the distance...palms and greenery, and big cliffs behind. Each oasis is in a valley...they're leftover prehistoric riverbeds, and they're close to the existing water table, so things grow there. I think I was out here having a secluded breakfast, hiding my date bread and drinks from the Ramadan types.

That rock is about the size of a bowling ball. It's been weathered into a very strange piece of what looks like rusted plumbing. A lot of what it's sitting on will be smashed pottery left over from various civilizations that marched through.

Your standard relatively modern grave yard, set against more of nearly nothing at all.

More strange flat desert wasteland. The plateau on the left is full of tombs from the Roman era, a five-level condo of corpses, most of which have been removed by archeologists.

Dead guys in the aforementioned tombs. I'm sure there are dead gals in there as well. They've just been sitting out there for a couple of thousand years...

An older Islamic graveyard. When you get married or a boy gets circumcised, you head up to the white tomb and go inside, burn some incense, then smudge mud on the walls or leave a celebratory flag. A little holdover of ancestor-worship and the Egyptian relationship with the dead. Seems blasphemous to me.

The little town of El Qasr. The centre of it is multi-storied mud rather cunningly designed, although you'd never know it from this photo. Thrill to the ancient olive press! At sunset the palms host vast flocks of white birds that seem like water birds trapped inland.

Wow I Feel So Fresh Today

Dumbest Column of the New Year

Here is a very stupid person:

One Pissed-Off Dude
by Gary Graham

I’m an American. This has always been my favorite label, but of late even that has seemed to mean less and less. Being called an American used to carry with it a certain pride and esprit de corps that now apparently is dated and passe. How else can one explain the rash of America-haters in our midst who only claim pride in America if a Leftist resides in the White House, and can only back a war effort if the decision to go to war was that of a Democrat.

Okay okay, my attention span is that of a three-year old so I'm not gonna go too far here, but...

You see, I’m one pissed-off dude.

WHOA! I am stunned that some asshole who uses "America-haters" with a straight face is not a calm and collected gentleman but a pissed-off dude!

I’m told I’ll hurt my career if I continually spout off about Liberalism — which I see as a growing cancer in our society. Worldwide, I’ve seen Liberalism metastasize into virulent incarnations of Socialism, and, left unchecked, even into its malignant cousin, Communism. Only the arrogant or the somnambulist would think such a thing could never happen here. [...] The fact that the thievery is done at the behest of a ‘civilized’ government does not sanitize the crime.

“At least the highwayman has the decency to wear a mask.” – Author unknown.

Okay, liberals are communists and socialists and thieves and also cancer...

I don’t want to get along with the Left. I want to take them down. I want to expose their idiocy for what it is and reveal it as a harmful, dangerous succession of lies and deceptions.

Okay, we're dangerous idiots who lie and deceive...

I’m pissed off that everyone seems okay on having to press one for English.

We force businesses to make money by dealing with their customers...

I’m pissed that my sweet well-wishing friends and acquaintances now say “Happy Holidays” instead of Merry Christmas.

We succeeded in destroying Christmas - YAY!

Can we all stop taking ourselves so damn seriously for half a minute? Hey – life ain’t a popularity contest. So grow a pair. Speak your mind and if someone can’t handle it, request that they take a hike.

Ooo, an opening: fuck you, moron.

It irks me that Democrats are always looking to raise my taxes. I’m patriotic if I take it up the bum and don’t squeal. [...] I regard people who advocate [raising taxes] in the same vein as I would the burglar I confront in the dead of night – an enemy.

So liberals raise taxes and make you have gay sex and we're your enemies...

I’m pissed that I study the political issues of the day, educate myself, stay informed daily by a multitude of news sources from all slants…and yet, come election day, my informed vote is cancelled by some numbskull who votes for the nicest smile

Liberals only vote for the guy they'd have a beer with...

I’m pissed off by how soft many in our nation have become. How whimpy the tone, how spineless the resolve. What happened to that brutally real notion that people should be held responsible for his or her actions? Nowadays, it always seems to be someone else’s fault, whatever it is. Got a life of poverty, it’s rich folks doing it to you.

Got a life of whininess? It's liberals doing it to you.

Who can identify virtue, when there is no shame?

INDEED.

And speaking of shame…have you on the Left no shame when it comes to calling evil EVIL? What’s in a name — a terrorist by any other name is a ‘Jihadist’. A freedom fighter. A rebel. But when are we going to admit that there is an evil movement out there dedicated to our destruction.

Y'know, only a little further on he complains about people calling George W. Bush evil... but here's the punchline:

Lastly…can we finally be done with all the hatred?

Muted trombone honk.

(Thank you I think to Principal Blackman.)

Balance the Statue of Liberty!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Without responsibility liberty cannot continue. Please help us find liberties’ mate.

[...]

Problem:

We have a tremendous symbolic imbalance in our country. Our national icon, the Statue of Liberty, stands alone. But liberty exercised in the absence of a sense of responsibility can be very destructive.

[...]

Liberty falls short because it doesn’t tell us what we should do. It only tells us what we can do. Responsibility tells us what we should do.

The statue of responsibility will go a long ways towards reestablishing this balance between can and should. Think of how deeply and often the Statue of Liberty is used to move us. It is impressed in the national ethical fiber.

Design:

What should the Statue of Responsibility look like?

Here's a start:


Via M. Bouffant.

UNIVERSITATEA BIOTERRA

Site's down, wonder why?