Monday, January 12, 2009

Quality Control

Funtime in Texas:
A&M to base bonuses on student input
The Associated Press

COLLEGE STATION — The chancellor of the Texas A&M University System wants to give bonuses worth up to $10,000 to some instructors, but so far, many aren't interested.

"I've never had so much trouble giving away a million dollars," Chancellor Mike McKinney said, laughing.

The voluntary pilot program being done at Texas A&M University along with the campuses in Prairie View and Kingsville will award bonuses from $2,500 to $10,000 to instructors based on end-of-the-semester critiques by students. The first awards go out in February, the Bryan-College Station Eagle reported in its online editions on Sunday.

I suggest someone try the Chicken Suit Stratagem: every student is going to remember the teacher who was fun enough to wear a chicken suit to teach, and consequently Professor Chicken Suit will be rewarded.

Among other alternatives, why not remove the middle-man and have a tip jar right up there in the front of the class?


I may have posted about this before, but it's along the same line:
2 Fake Law Diplomas and a $37M Haul
31 October 2008By Svetlana Osadchuk / Staff Writer

A Samara professor earned an eye-popping $37 million teaching law at seven schools over the course of three years.

The problem is that he landed the teaching jobs with fake diplomas that he bought for about $2,000 after seeing an advertisement near a Moscow metro, investigators said.
Okay, he's made $37 million as a law professor, but THE PROBLEM is that he's a fake.

Update Also

Lifting a bright comment from elsewhere:
If there are any "liberal" profs in Aggieland, they better not anger the College Republicans, or it will cost them ten grand!

Posted by: Bob Oso | January 13, 2009 4:05 PM


Mendacious D said...

I suspect the most votes would go to whatever adjunct either gave the best midterm marks or had the best weed, or both.

Righteous Bubba said...

My assumption is that problem with marks is a given, but how to pretend that they don't matter?

Anyway, if I was a chemistry teacher the class'd be spending a lot of time investigating nitrous oxide.

Another Kiwi said...

Strangely, the original Bologna University operated in a similar manner when the students paid the lecturer on the way out. Good lecturers had a good 'client base' and did well. No records of chicken suits have been found but dressing as a chicken was probably banned by the Vatican anyway.
But you just know that this is going to lead to rodeo clowns in classes, isn't it.

Righteous Bubba said...

Perhaps the professor could offer sex to the students for an A grade on the evaluation.

Erik Loomis said...

How do I get in the racket of earning $37 million as a professor. I know I'm in history and all, but surely I could rack in 8 or 9 million.

Righteous Bubba said...

Learn Russian. I think you pay for grades in the Ukraine too but I don't think the money is quite as freely available.

Another Kiwi said...

Ya gotta have the vision thing!
See, you set up a University of Freedom with Professors such as Dr J.Goldberg and Dr. A.Coulter possibly even Dr. M.Malkin and they set the course work which turns out to be reading their "thoughts" in their "books" and their "batshit scribbling on the toilet wall". Then after a year and $4000 they get a Diploma in Freedom Studies which enables them to get a discount on a New Republic Online sub and a free Prawn Cocktail at Tony's Bar and Grill, Wherethefuk, Ohio.
It's easy street for me!

Righteous Bubba said...

Diploma in Freedom Studies

This is worth a photoshop that I will never get around to making.

Mendacious D said...

This is a degree I will never get around to earning.

Righteous Bubba said...

Diploma in Procrastination Studies for Mendacious D!