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Gentlemen, SHIELD THE EYES OF YOUR CHILDREN, for these are

Strange facts about the father of evolution

YES THEY ARE! For it seems that

Darwin was squeaky clean, but not everything about him was normal
By Robin Lloyd
updated 1:19 p.m. PT, Wed., Feb. 11, 2009

Did I not warn you? Don your protective gear AS WE LEARN THESE STRANGE FACTS WHICH ARE EDITED FOR BREVITY!

Stinky feet [...]
Tough dad [...]
Seasick [...]
Missing the boat — Darwin almost missed the boat (OK, the ship) that took him to the Galapagos Islands [...]
Iffy on marriage [...]
Foot-dragger — Darwin delayed the publication of On the Origin of Species for more than two decades [...]
Almost scooped — In the late 1850s, it became clear to Darwin that British naturalist Alfred Russel Wallace also had come up with a similar theory of evolution [...]
Ho-hum reaction — The publication of Darwin's and Wallace's work was a non-event at first. [...]
Family losses — Darwin and his wife had 10 children, but three of them died at young ages [...]
Christian, then agnostic [...]
Sickly life — Darwin was incapacitated by various illnesses of unknown origin for much of his adult life [...]

I have said that Robin Lloyd refused to tell me what final horror made her scream out so insanely-a horror which, I feel sadly sure, is mainly responsible for her present breakdown. We had snatches of shouted conversation above the wind’s piping and the engine’s buzzing as we reached the safe side of the range and swooped slowly down toward the camp, but that had mostly to do with the pledges of secrecy we had made as we prepared to leave the nightmare city. Certain things, we had agreed, were not for people to know and discuss lightly-and I would not speak of them now but for the need of heading off that Gregg Easterbrook Expedition, and others, at any cost. It is absolutely necessary, for the peace and safety of mankind, that some of earth’s dark, dead corners and unplumbed depths be let alone; lest sleeping abnormalities wake to resurgent life, and blasphemously surviving nightmares squirm and splash out of their black lairs to newer and wider conquests.

THIS POST TOOK MERE MOMENTS TO UPDATE:
Immediately after composing this I noticed that the author obligingly seeks out Gregg Easterbrook for some fucking reason.