Monday, March 23, 2009

Veronica DiPooppoo

A crazy fucking weirdo named Veronica DiPippo writes:
The story of Og and Bog would have no place in hypothetical history were it not for the fact that, apparently, Og went on to father Homo sapiens (“knowing human”) while Bog went on to father an entire subspecies known as Homo sibi destruens (“man destroying himself”). Though they appear physically identical and share a majority of cognitive abilities, Homo sibi destruens (“HSD”) is decidedly different from Homo sapiens in one critical area: they are unable to absorb the lessons of history.

Standouts of this subspecies can easily be spotted governing countries, running the 111th Congress, starring in films, chairing U.N. committees, controlling the White House and keeping the flames of socialism and communism flickering the world over.
Crazy shrooming visions aside, the lesson I see is IT'S ALL ABOUT RACE, PAL.

12 comments:

Another Kiwi said...

See how quickly the intellectual content of the post was exhausted and they moved onto crappy movies and bacon, in the comments?

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Homo sibi destruens (“HSD”) is decidedly different from Homo sapiens in one critical area: they are unable to absorb the lessons of history.

The last 8 years apparently do not qualify as history for wingnutz?

Or, it's always projection with them.
~

herr doktor bimler said...

I am capable of absorbing the lessons of history; I just choose not to, because then I would be deprived of the pleasure of repeating it.

Under the terms of my grandmother's ill-thought-out will,* my trust fund will continue to pay for my education until I absorb the lessons of history and make the mistake of graduating.

Also, someone needs to write out "Sibi is the dative form of the reflexive pronoun; accusative is se" 500 times.

* Plot device definitely not stolen from 'Doorways in the Sand'.

Righteous Bubba said...

Somewhere in this part there's a "lessons of history" fail:

To HSD, communism is not a failed philosophy. It’s just never been done right. European socialism –- a floundering system of government Americans have never actually endured –- is somehow superior to the pseudo-capitalist system we are rapidly losing. The government, though they have mangled our public schools for decades, frittered away our Social Security, worsened our financial crisis and grossly mismanaged everything from Fannie and Freddie to the U.S. Postal Service, is now somehow best qualified to handle our banking, mortgages and healthcare.

J— said...

I don't find the initial scenario plausible. Mammoths were for the most part grazers, so it's highly unlikely it would have released a fir tree fart. The scene outside the coffeehouse, however, is spot on. I hear conversations just like that all the time because that's just how liberals talk amongst themselves.

Mendacious D said...

At least she didn't come out and say people should start lynching them.

Well, not overtly.

Righteous Bubba said...

that's just how liberals talk amongst themselves.

OMG, totally.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

If there was a species of man that was always destroying themselves, wouldn't they have, you know, been destroyed in the intervening millennia?

tigris said...

a floundering system of government Americans have never actually endured

Because NO AMERICAN HAS EVER LIVED ABROAD.

The government ... is now somehow best qualified to handle our banking, mortgages and healthcare

When of course it's obvious that in fact the failed bankers are best qualified to handle the failed banking system they fucked up so much in the first place. Capitalism never fails, it is only failed by bad government and OH GOD LOOK OVER THERE *runs away*

If there was a species of man that was always destroying themselves, wouldn't they have, you know, been destroyed in the intervening millennia?

You'd think so, but Conservatives seem to reproduce before succumbing to the inevitable.

Righteous Bubba said...

It makes you start suspecting that there's a tricky sort of species that convinces others to kill them. What a bind.

herr doktor bimler said...

Those bloody dodos and their tempting-us-to-wipe-them-out mind tricks. They only did it to make us feel guilty.

Captcha word = 'rantou'. Is this another of these Canadian delicacies?

Righteous Bubba said...

THE LEMMINGS WERE PUSHED.*

*Yes yes, deviation from the facts and so forth. Lookit Og'n'Bog up there!